Mum guilt. | Family Photography in Loughborough
Wow. It’s Friday again.
I don’t know whether it’s because I’m getting old(er), or whether it’s because I’m so busy but the time just seems to zip by.
This scares me.
Suddenly, I have an 8 and a 6 year old yet I still feel like I’ve only just become a mum.
Do you ever wish that you could just freeze time?
Just press pause for a few days when the jobs don’t need doing, all responsibility can just be parked to one side and you can enjoy your family, guilt free?
Last night I thought I was spending quality time with Jacob playing connect 4 when I realised I wasn’t really present. Sure, I was taking my turn and laughing with him but at the same time I was thinking “this floor could do with a clean”, “when am I going to have time to do the groceries?”, “have they got a clean shirt for tomorrow”, “Oh, and I must reply to that email”… I was completely distracted and he must have felt it too because as soon as the game didn’t go his way, he stormed off and wouldn’t talk to me.
I’m brilliant at being in the moment when I’m on holiday - but that’s like 2/3 weeks a year. What about the other 49 weeks of the year? Am I really just going through the motions? “I’m just… In a minute… Could you just entertain yourself for 5?…Can you help your sister while I..?”
Since having children life has become so busy and my head is so full of STUFF. Even when we go outside to throw some Basketball hoops I get so distracted (especially by the weeds between the paving..! Arghhh - when I did I become my Dad? I’ll be mowing stripes in the lawn next). By the way - the basketball hoop was the best present EVER! Something that the whole family can join in with - even Nanna…
So, this week I am going to make a conscious effort to be present. I’m going to ignore the wittering off in my head. I am going to put my phone on silent (not quite ready to switch it off yet!) and I am going to enjoy the moment.
‘Cos let’s face it. They really are only going to be this little once. I want them to look back and think - “we had such a lovely childhood”. Who’s with me?
